Wednesday, December 27, 2006
It's like I was hit in the head...
...a day or so after my birthday and just reeled to. I'm suddenly aware of and enjoying the holidays, and am excrutiatingly aware of their fleet retreat. Living with the demented will do that to you every time, I guess. Wow. That was a blow.
Looks like I might be getting some of my beloved inclement weather. It's to gather, today, and I can see that it is. The sun is completely blocked. It's warm enough, though, for me (who is now used to splashes of cold, cold weather barefoot and in shirt sleeves) to walk out in no more than summer clothing to pick up the paper or the mail. Or take out the garbage, last night, although I wore sandals to avoid stickers.
Last night rain and snow were forecast, starting today. I'm ready. Bring it on. Here's the "local on the 8's": Currently 53°. That's 43° or less in our area. Ahh, yes, I see the precip coming in on raidar. It just isn't hitting the ground, yet, here. We're a little p and away. "Few Showers" by 1400. growing in intensity through midnight. "Snow showers. Tonight." 30% precip today to 60% tonight. Definitely snow overnight. Low only 28°. That's only 18° here. That's actually high for a night low. Ooohhh...."slow flurries Thursday". Cool. Friday, mostly sunny, about 40 here. I'm looking forward to the snow but am mainly focused on the snow. Maybe it'll collect. Looks like some serious homing will be happening. Good. We've got ribs to stew...mmmm...plenty of everything for hibernating, including cocoa, and lots of glipizide.
I'm wondering if today is going to be another recovery day for her. I think, as of this morning, I'm recovered. Even did something terribly productive, this morning; I found my "old and expired" card holder, which was buried in the bottom of a bottom box in my bedroom, which has become a storage space.
I found one of Mr. Man's mice for him. I am sure there are several scattered throughout the boxes of papers in the back of my room. I found one, covered with the must of a season about a year ago. He went wild. Literally. I finally had to throw it out of the room to continue my survey.
Last tax payment due. I should be up to date on the tax paperwork sometime into the first week of January. Ready to send as soon as the last government document comes through.
I think I am more aware of my mother's age and her frailty, this year than last, especially, perhaps, because her determination keeps her from being aware of either. These are easily slowing years for her, now. Incrementally more demanding for me. Not necessarily in a bad way, just upping the ante at a table where I intend to remain. I did not think that she would be more dear to me this year than last, as last year she had become heartbreakingly dear to me, but, hmmm...oh dear, she is even more so this year. I see, now, that her death will be neither a curse nor a blessing to me. It will simply be the profound transition of a profoundly intimate relationship. I carry an image of her, now, as dust in my arms. Precious, fine, volatile dust. Her spirit, though, I note, remains firmly planted, here. So, it seems, I am yet holding most of the dust in my arms.
I note, looking out, that, this year, we've had enough storm activity (although not enough storm precipitation) to remove all the deciduous leaves from the trees. Didn't happen, last year. I'm hoping that's an optimistically precipitous sign. We haven't yet had the Christmas Card Snow Storm. I hope that's what's lurking out there for tomorrow.
This would not be good country for a sleigh, though.
Later.
Looks like I might be getting some of my beloved inclement weather. It's to gather, today, and I can see that it is. The sun is completely blocked. It's warm enough, though, for me (who is now used to splashes of cold, cold weather barefoot and in shirt sleeves) to walk out in no more than summer clothing to pick up the paper or the mail. Or take out the garbage, last night, although I wore sandals to avoid stickers.
Last night rain and snow were forecast, starting today. I'm ready. Bring it on. Here's the "local on the 8's": Currently 53°. That's 43° or less in our area. Ahh, yes, I see the precip coming in on raidar. It just isn't hitting the ground, yet, here. We're a little p and away. "Few Showers" by 1400. growing in intensity through midnight. "Snow showers. Tonight." 30% precip today to 60% tonight. Definitely snow overnight. Low only 28°. That's only 18° here. That's actually high for a night low. Ooohhh...."slow flurries Thursday". Cool. Friday, mostly sunny, about 40 here. I'm looking forward to the snow but am mainly focused on the snow. Maybe it'll collect. Looks like some serious homing will be happening. Good. We've got ribs to stew...mmmm...plenty of everything for hibernating, including cocoa, and lots of glipizide.
I'm wondering if today is going to be another recovery day for her. I think, as of this morning, I'm recovered. Even did something terribly productive, this morning; I found my "old and expired" card holder, which was buried in the bottom of a bottom box in my bedroom, which has become a storage space.
I found one of Mr. Man's mice for him. I am sure there are several scattered throughout the boxes of papers in the back of my room. I found one, covered with the must of a season about a year ago. He went wild. Literally. I finally had to throw it out of the room to continue my survey.
Last tax payment due. I should be up to date on the tax paperwork sometime into the first week of January. Ready to send as soon as the last government document comes through.
I think I am more aware of my mother's age and her frailty, this year than last, especially, perhaps, because her determination keeps her from being aware of either. These are easily slowing years for her, now. Incrementally more demanding for me. Not necessarily in a bad way, just upping the ante at a table where I intend to remain. I did not think that she would be more dear to me this year than last, as last year she had become heartbreakingly dear to me, but, hmmm...oh dear, she is even more so this year. I see, now, that her death will be neither a curse nor a blessing to me. It will simply be the profound transition of a profoundly intimate relationship. I carry an image of her, now, as dust in my arms. Precious, fine, volatile dust. Her spirit, though, I note, remains firmly planted, here. So, it seems, I am yet holding most of the dust in my arms.
I note, looking out, that, this year, we've had enough storm activity (although not enough storm precipitation) to remove all the deciduous leaves from the trees. Didn't happen, last year. I'm hoping that's an optimistically precipitous sign. We haven't yet had the Christmas Card Snow Storm. I hope that's what's lurking out there for tomorrow.
This would not be good country for a sleigh, though.
Later.
Comments:
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Originally posted by Karma: Thu Dec 28, 08:40:00 AM 2006
I like the way that you describe the image of dust. I feel a bit covered in dust now with Grandma gone, and as if I'm trying to hide it with Mom....Its odd knowing that death is coming, but not when, and trying to prepare for it....a difficult thing.
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I like the way that you describe the image of dust. I feel a bit covered in dust now with Grandma gone, and as if I'm trying to hide it with Mom....Its odd knowing that death is coming, but not when, and trying to prepare for it....a difficult thing.
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