Mom & Me Four Archive

...was Trip Recovery Day, although it went much more smoothly than usual. This is the first day trip we've taken since her Anemia Due to Chronic Disease has come under sufficient control. I'm tending toward thinking that just this one change has made a huge difference not only in how my mother experiences her life, but in how I experience my caring for her, as well. I've noticed, yesterday and today, that it is almost impossible, now, for me to be truly thrown by anything...simply because I no longer feel quite so helpless.
    I am considering, of course, that at some point I will again experience frustration and feelings of helplessness in regard to what I'm sure will be health crises that will, eventually, lead to her death. I'm trying hard, on several mental levels, to prepare myself for these eventualities while I have this blessing of room to breathe that administering a third Niferex-150 has afforded me.
    I reported some of our day in The Dailies for what is now yesterday. Mom's day, today involved a surprisingly early awakening and a hard, deep, long nap. Today was a surprise Seattle Day, as well, not predicted by the weather channel. I reveled in it and so did Mom, in her way. I think it aided her sleep recovery from the trip. Although I offered her an adult buffered dose of aspirin both this morning and when she awoke from her nap, she wasn't interested, couldn't even imagine why I was asking her about possible stiffness. As well, she revealed yet another surprise of an extended awake period once she arose from napping. She was in excellent spirits throughout. A few days ago I noticed that HBO's presentation of Elizabeth I, which my mother and I so loved, was for sale and purchased it. We watched the special features and the first part this evening. During the actual presentation we found ourselves moved simultaneously by bits of dialogue, scenes in which multiple subtle looks were exchanged, and, of course, the exquisite sets and costumes. We paused and replayed several snatches. One piece of dialogue in particular we played over three times and discussed: When Leicester and Elizabeth are discussing her desire to revive a once scrapped plan for her to secretly visit Mary and attempt to reason with her and Leicester replies: "Bess, you have the great weakness of the clear minded. You believe that other people think like you." Although I'd noticed that throughout the presentation Mom had been wiping her eyes with Kleenex, I assumed that it was because her allergies were bothering her. At the end of the first part, though, as the credits were rolling and I was exclaiming about how so many parts of the film "caused me chills," she replied, "Yes, and tears, too." I was stunned speechless. She is not a woman who is easily moved to tears or weeps in reaction to drama. I didn't pursue it, nor did I tease her, as she often teases me when tears flow while I'm reading or watching a story.
    Later, as I was rubbing down her legs, we discussed plans for the next few days: Possible blood draw tomorrow, depending on the weather; definitely finish off trimming the pyracantha, which it is her intention to supervise; finally, and least expected, she mentioned something I'd talked about earlier in the day, that "I" need to compare prices on manual lawn mowers and purchase one this weekend so I can trim down our ankle-to-waist high grass varieties and scatter seed to ensure an even more lush lawn next summer.
    "I should go with you," she said.
    "Oh, absolutely!"
    "I think I know a little more about manual lawn mowers than you do. All you girls ever used were the ones with engines."
    "Good. I could use some advice." Unbeknownst to her, I've already surveyed what's available in the area. All that is left is to compare current prices versus features. I didn't mention my previous survey but, in order to prepare her, since she inevitably expects pricing of anything to be what it was in the 1950's and 1960's, I introduced my guess as to what we'd probably pay for the machine.
    Yet again, she blew me away by responding, "There'll be Labor Day Sales this weekend, you know. We should get ahold of the hardware ads."
    Frankly, I'd forgotten about Labor Day; we hadn't yet mentioned it this week. I can only guess that she was reminded of it because of the "Ernesto" updates she watched earlier. MFS lives in Jacksonville so Mom likes to keep an eye on that area during hurricane season. After breakfast, before she napped, she asked me to turn to the weather channel while I was finishing up morning chores so she could see if "Ernesto" had proceeded up the coast or turned back on North Florida. I vaguely recall overhearing people along the coast of North Carolina complaining that "Ernesto" was threatening their anticipated Labor Day income. I was amazed that she had retained this information all day long and used it to help us make plans.
    So, I have no idea how the coming days will shake out. Could be that, as previously, she'll lapse back into her normal habits, although she has questioned me several times, today, about our upcoming trip to The Valley for her doctor's appointment. Not that she remembers it is for her appointment. She only remembers that it's another day trip and she so enjoyed yesterday's that she's looking forward to it. However, earlier today when, in response to one of her Next Trip Queries, I suggested that maybe we should plan No Reason Day Trips every couple of weeks, since she enjoyed yesterday's so much, she said, with a look of mock consternation, "Now, let's not get too ambitious!"
    We'll see.
    Hmmm...it is 0152 as I close off this post. A few minutes ago, Mom took a quick trip to the bathroom. I responded to the bathroom door opening and led her back to bed to make sure she replaced her oxygen cannula. I asked her if Mr. Man's attempt to climb the kitchen wall, backing her bedroom wall against which her bed sits, awoke her.
    "Oh, no, I was up."
    "You mean you haven't slept since your light went off at 0018?"
    "No."
    "What have you been doing?"
    "Oh, thinking."
    "Anything in particular on your mind?"
    "No, just thinking about [dead uncle] and [her] Grandpa."
    I avoided asking her what she was thinking, as I didn't want to get into another Dead Zone discussion, since I'm ready for some sleep. I can't imagine, though, that she was awake all that time without coming out. But, the up and down nature of her night, tonight, indicates that she's completely recovered from the trip and back to her usual schedule.
    Yes, definitely, we'll see.
    Rabbit, rabbit.
    Later.