Saturday, August 26, 2006
Rambling Ketchup
- You may have noticed that I haven't kept up with The Dailies since August 12th. Not sure why I took a vacation from that. Unambitious stat taking has continued, although I haven't been writing down her bowel movements nor her daily meals, so, when I get around to catching up it will be bare stats with an overview. Mom's had an unusual elevation in blood pressure, lately, mild fluid retention, which I've addressed with 10 mg furosemide nightly for the last three nights, then, over the last two days her BG has been unusually hard to control. You'll see what I mean when I finally enter the stats. There have been a few changes in diet over the last two weeks which could partially account for the rise in BG, but only partially. Overall, though, she has proceeded normally. Although she's been experiencing a period of increased sleep, this is not unusual. I guess I'd have to go back to see if this usually corresponds to rises in BP and BG. You'd think I'd remember this, wouldn't you!
At any rate, she and I discussed this last night and decided to reinstitute some methods we've used before to get her moving a little more, roll back the refined carbohydrates in her diet, and pull the curtain of sleep back a bit further than it's been. Otherwise, she seems to be perfectly healthy.
During our discussion, I told her that my main reason for being concerned wasn't her apparent health, but my desire to avoid a health crisis that would require the involvement of doctors, hospital stays, etc. "Let me check again with you, Mom, on this. Is your preference still that you want as much as possible regarding your health handled here at home?"
"Oh, absolutely," she replied.
"O.K. Then I'm going to need your cooperation. Remember, all the things we'll be doing are things we've done before and I'm reinstituting in order to keep doctor's appointments to a minimum and health crises out of the picture."
"Good idea."
"I won't be insisting that you begin marathon training, but I just need to see if we can control your BP and your BG here at home, rather than with doctor visits and increased medication."
"I'm ready." - I'm experiencing some mild mental disquietude, lately, rolling some caregiving issues around in my head about which I haven't yet come to the point of writing, some of which can be described as follows:
- "failure to thrive" in the elderly vs. same condition in infants and children;
- How and whether one's life-long relationships with one's family, especially one's children, affect how one proceeds through both Ancienthood and, if it occurs, dementia;
- Whether the time at and manner of which one, as a caregiver (related or not) becomes involved in the care of an Ancient and/or Demented One makes a difference in the trajectory of the Ancient and/or demented one's experience of Ancienthood and dementia and conditions which are often cited as offshoots of dementia and can sometimes be addressed with medication but which I'm not sure we can absolutely state are simply offshoots of dementia.
In this regard, I have been considering that the severity of dementia and the peace, or lack thereof, in regards to experiencing dementia as an Ancient One may be closely related to how the Ancient One in question nourished and maintained relationships with those who are most likely to be tapped (successfully or not) into caregiving for the Ancient One through that Ancient One's later years.
These considerations have provoked some unsettling considerations about love, forgiveness; how much we can and should expect from ourselves as caregivers; how much we can and should expect from others if and when we need care as an Ancient and/or Demented One; how realistic it is to try, as some caregiver counselors are beginning to suggest, to manage one's relationships earlier in life in order to ensure that someone to whom we relate will be willing to offer compassionate (really compassionate) care to us if and when we need it.
Time to start the Mom's day, a half hour earlier than her usual 12-hour-sleep mark. Time for surprise relief.
Later.
Comments:
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originally posted by Mona Johnson: Sun Aug 27, 04:23:00 PM 2006
Hi Gail,
Your mom is lucky to have you. I'm sure your caregiving is part of the reason she's doing so well. But I also think different underlying causes of dementia lead to different end-of-life "trajectories." I think we need to be careful society doesn't blame a downward trajectory on the caregiver...
Interesting question about how much caregiving we can expect from ourselves and others - let me know when you find the answer!
Hi Gail,
Your mom is lucky to have you. I'm sure your caregiving is part of the reason she's doing so well. But I also think different underlying causes of dementia lead to different end-of-life "trajectories." I think we need to be careful society doesn't blame a downward trajectory on the caregiver...
Interesting question about how much caregiving we can expect from ourselves and others - let me know when you find the answer!
originally posted by Deb Peterson: Sun Aug 27, 07:15:00 PM 2006
Gail--One of the ideas this post inspired in me about relationships between Ancient Ones and caregivers: I wonder whether having a consistent, engaging, thoroughly intimate relationship with ONE caregiver might be a "better thing" for our Moms than having multiple, rudimentary relationships with multiple caregivers? I guess the answer to that would differ with each individual, but on the whole it seems that as a person ages, her important peer group dwindles. Children play in big groups, teenagers hang out in cliques, adults tend to have fewer but deeper friendships. Maybe what you have with your Mom is the model of what is best at the latest life-stage? I'm not saying that Ancients don't need social interaction, but having a primary caregiver who "knows" her mind and body gives her the one rich source of engagement she needs, and also compensates to some degree for what she's no longer able to do. I'm thinking of times my mother has tried to convey something to me, and as her agnosia progresses, she cannot find the words--but I know what she means, 9 times out of 10, and can respond to her. How much does that alleviate her frustration, and possibly the physical and emotional problems that accompany the loss of such a crucial ability?
Well,once again you've got me thinking--and it does me good! Of course I'm probably stating the obvious in my comment, but I guess that doesn't hurt.
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Gail--One of the ideas this post inspired in me about relationships between Ancient Ones and caregivers: I wonder whether having a consistent, engaging, thoroughly intimate relationship with ONE caregiver might be a "better thing" for our Moms than having multiple, rudimentary relationships with multiple caregivers? I guess the answer to that would differ with each individual, but on the whole it seems that as a person ages, her important peer group dwindles. Children play in big groups, teenagers hang out in cliques, adults tend to have fewer but deeper friendships. Maybe what you have with your Mom is the model of what is best at the latest life-stage? I'm not saying that Ancients don't need social interaction, but having a primary caregiver who "knows" her mind and body gives her the one rich source of engagement she needs, and also compensates to some degree for what she's no longer able to do. I'm thinking of times my mother has tried to convey something to me, and as her agnosia progresses, she cannot find the words--but I know what she means, 9 times out of 10, and can respond to her. How much does that alleviate her frustration, and possibly the physical and emotional problems that accompany the loss of such a crucial ability?
Well,once again you've got me thinking--and it does me good! Of course I'm probably stating the obvious in my comment, but I guess that doesn't hurt.
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