Thursday, June 1, 2006
Just a note to inform you...
...that I've changed the Archives from weekly to monthly. I was looking up some past stuff last night and realized that not only is that long list unwieldly but I was much more successful at remembering the month and year of a particular issue than the week. I'll be changing the archives at other areas to monthly, as well.
My motivation and fair day spirits are returning, with one exception. The Adult Day Care Program I mentioned in the last post? I still have to confront dealing with two bureaucracies on that one: The VA (for funding purposes), which is going to be a bitch, seeing as how the freeze is still on, and her doctor's office. She needs a "complete" physical to qualify for placement and I devised a way to do this based on my word and records, since the office is day trip away. I actually don't think there'll be a problem, but I checked on the progress of having the faxed form signatured twice and, wouldn't you know it, as of my last call yesterday the office seems to have lost the form. I faxed it again. We'll see what happens. As a sidebar, the staff member to whom I talked was "surprised" that she needed proof of a physical in order to participate in Adult Day Care.
It took me awhile to find this place, obviously. None of the others I've visited knew about this one, although my understanding is that the one I visited in a neighboring town over a year ago and rejected is now allied with this one. There aren't very many elders attending this Center, which is nice. Individual attention per client is more than satisfactory. The program is full of activity, Mom really enjoyed herself, the "complimentary lunch" that was served was both tasty and nutritious and contained no cheap, starchy fillers. The cost is $50/half day, $60/per day. A "day" is from 0900 - 1600; a "half day" from 0900 through lunch. Most of the "clients" attend for half a day and most of the up-and-at-'em activities take place from 0900 until 1400. Each day includes a current events period, some sort of inside activity (the day we visited it was what I would call floor bowling), a "Sittercise" session to music which is very active, a crafts session, a gardening session...and there are a variety of other activities going on in case someone decides they want to sit out group activity. The day we visited one gentleman spent the entire time working on a jigsaw puzzle.
The Center has a large screen television but movies and old shows are shown only after lunch, during the "After Hours Club", which involves a fair amount of sitting-up napping. The clients ranged in age from newly old to very old; their abilities ranged from very facile to barely facile. Interaction with one another and the staff is encouraged. Extra help (for instance, my mother will require such in managing her oxygen and her walker; luckily there is plenty of enthusiastic, watchful staff on hand) costs extra.
I'm seeking funding (Vets are eligible for a sliding scale co-pay, based on income) because I'd like her to be able to attend more than once a week. Even at once a week, half day, over a month we'd be pushing it. I have absolutely no intention of putting us in the same financial straits we were in when we owned the mobile home in Mesa and, beyond once a week, we'd be right back where we were floundering.
When I initially visited the Center and picked up pamphlets and brochures, I noticed the main selling point was directed at caregivers: Consider this a way to get a few hours "respite" a few times a week. Yeah, right. Frankly, a few hours here and there isn't "respite" for me, anymore. More than likely, I'll be using the time to do errands that I normally do while she's sleeping or napping. "Respite", for me, would be an entire carefree week in which I don't feel the necessity to check up on the quality of care my mother's receiving. When Mom and I went for our scheduled "tour and complimentary lunch" (during which Mom enthusiastically participated in all the activities going on during our visit) I carried a side-arm of cynicism in case someone decided to try, yet again, to sell the Center to us based on the possibility of "respite" for me. Much to my surprise, unlike the brochures, the staff was much more sensitive about this issue and the subject of caregiver "respite" never came up.
I know. I need to get my butt in gear on this. I'm so tired of wrestling with bureaucracies, though, and my motivation for everything, including facing down yet another example of bureau-stupidity, has been caught in my internal garbage disposal, lately, although it seems, recently, to be regurgitating. It may seem as though I've been too easy on myself in regards to performing on my mother's behalf, lately, but, let me tell you, when you've been doing this as long as I have there is no such thing as being too easy on oneself. Every move, every perception, even when one's care recipient is slumbering, is tied to one's care recipient and being a caregiver is so automatic as to be unavoidable. It's truly miraculous when those days hit when one's caregiver self throw's up her hands and says, "Wait, I have to slow down here, I need to take a few breaths for myself for awhile."
Luckily, with or without the Center, my mother's doing fine. I'm hanging in there. I'm no longer having the "Abandoning Fantasies" in which I was indulging a couple of weeks ago; they served their purpose and I'm settled where I am, again, pretty much, anyway.
Time to peak in on The Mom. We're coming up on 12 hours since her light went out last night.
Later.
My motivation and fair day spirits are returning, with one exception. The Adult Day Care Program I mentioned in the last post? I still have to confront dealing with two bureaucracies on that one: The VA (for funding purposes), which is going to be a bitch, seeing as how the freeze is still on, and her doctor's office. She needs a "complete" physical to qualify for placement and I devised a way to do this based on my word and records, since the office is day trip away. I actually don't think there'll be a problem, but I checked on the progress of having the faxed form signatured twice and, wouldn't you know it, as of my last call yesterday the office seems to have lost the form. I faxed it again. We'll see what happens. As a sidebar, the staff member to whom I talked was "surprised" that she needed proof of a physical in order to participate in Adult Day Care.
It took me awhile to find this place, obviously. None of the others I've visited knew about this one, although my understanding is that the one I visited in a neighboring town over a year ago and rejected is now allied with this one. There aren't very many elders attending this Center, which is nice. Individual attention per client is more than satisfactory. The program is full of activity, Mom really enjoyed herself, the "complimentary lunch" that was served was both tasty and nutritious and contained no cheap, starchy fillers. The cost is $50/half day, $60/per day. A "day" is from 0900 - 1600; a "half day" from 0900 through lunch. Most of the "clients" attend for half a day and most of the up-and-at-'em activities take place from 0900 until 1400. Each day includes a current events period, some sort of inside activity (the day we visited it was what I would call floor bowling), a "Sittercise" session to music which is very active, a crafts session, a gardening session...and there are a variety of other activities going on in case someone decides they want to sit out group activity. The day we visited one gentleman spent the entire time working on a jigsaw puzzle.
The Center has a large screen television but movies and old shows are shown only after lunch, during the "After Hours Club", which involves a fair amount of sitting-up napping. The clients ranged in age from newly old to very old; their abilities ranged from very facile to barely facile. Interaction with one another and the staff is encouraged. Extra help (for instance, my mother will require such in managing her oxygen and her walker; luckily there is plenty of enthusiastic, watchful staff on hand) costs extra.
I'm seeking funding (Vets are eligible for a sliding scale co-pay, based on income) because I'd like her to be able to attend more than once a week. Even at once a week, half day, over a month we'd be pushing it. I have absolutely no intention of putting us in the same financial straits we were in when we owned the mobile home in Mesa and, beyond once a week, we'd be right back where we were floundering.
When I initially visited the Center and picked up pamphlets and brochures, I noticed the main selling point was directed at caregivers: Consider this a way to get a few hours "respite" a few times a week. Yeah, right. Frankly, a few hours here and there isn't "respite" for me, anymore. More than likely, I'll be using the time to do errands that I normally do while she's sleeping or napping. "Respite", for me, would be an entire carefree week in which I don't feel the necessity to check up on the quality of care my mother's receiving. When Mom and I went for our scheduled "tour and complimentary lunch" (during which Mom enthusiastically participated in all the activities going on during our visit) I carried a side-arm of cynicism in case someone decided to try, yet again, to sell the Center to us based on the possibility of "respite" for me. Much to my surprise, unlike the brochures, the staff was much more sensitive about this issue and the subject of caregiver "respite" never came up.
I know. I need to get my butt in gear on this. I'm so tired of wrestling with bureaucracies, though, and my motivation for everything, including facing down yet another example of bureau-stupidity, has been caught in my internal garbage disposal, lately, although it seems, recently, to be regurgitating. It may seem as though I've been too easy on myself in regards to performing on my mother's behalf, lately, but, let me tell you, when you've been doing this as long as I have there is no such thing as being too easy on oneself. Every move, every perception, even when one's care recipient is slumbering, is tied to one's care recipient and being a caregiver is so automatic as to be unavoidable. It's truly miraculous when those days hit when one's caregiver self throw's up her hands and says, "Wait, I have to slow down here, I need to take a few breaths for myself for awhile."
Luckily, with or without the Center, my mother's doing fine. I'm hanging in there. I'm no longer having the "Abandoning Fantasies" in which I was indulging a couple of weeks ago; they served their purpose and I'm settled where I am, again, pretty much, anyway.
Time to peak in on The Mom. We're coming up on 12 hours since her light went out last night.
Later.
Comments:
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originally posted by Deb Peterson: Thu Jun 01, 05:47:00 PM 2006
"Too easy" on yourself??!! Hah! I think not!
Gail, you're reading my mind on the respite situation. I'm not sure what respite really is, because as long as my mother is alive I'll be worrying about her. But it's funny how we hoard our free minutes like loose change. Last week my mother had an MD appointment late in the afternoon. My sister will pick my mother up and drive her to the medical center, and I will go directly from work and meet them there, then take my mother home afterwards. On this day, her appointment was later than usual and I had gotten out of work a half hour early (I work at a university library and our hours shorten a bit when classes end) so I had 45 MINUTES to myself!!! I actually got nervous at having to decide what to do. Should I go to the mall? To Barnes and Noble? Should I just sit in the quiet of a coffeeshop and THINK ABOUT THINGS? 20 angst-ridden minutes later I was still driving around, so I finally stopped at a bookstore, where I had about 15 minutes to look at the magazines before I had to leave. No wonder I'm tired all the time, when every decision is so crucial.
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"Too easy" on yourself??!! Hah! I think not!
Gail, you're reading my mind on the respite situation. I'm not sure what respite really is, because as long as my mother is alive I'll be worrying about her. But it's funny how we hoard our free minutes like loose change. Last week my mother had an MD appointment late in the afternoon. My sister will pick my mother up and drive her to the medical center, and I will go directly from work and meet them there, then take my mother home afterwards. On this day, her appointment was later than usual and I had gotten out of work a half hour early (I work at a university library and our hours shorten a bit when classes end) so I had 45 MINUTES to myself!!! I actually got nervous at having to decide what to do. Should I go to the mall? To Barnes and Noble? Should I just sit in the quiet of a coffeeshop and THINK ABOUT THINGS? 20 angst-ridden minutes later I was still driving around, so I finally stopped at a bookstore, where I had about 15 minutes to look at the magazines before I had to leave. No wonder I'm tired all the time, when every decision is so crucial.
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